The moon is so bright right now. Wind is humming very loud. November! I’ve been watching Sopranos. I’ve been eating Bao Buns from Hong Kong Supermarket - steaming them in my fancy new rice cooker (zojirushi cmon now). I was Ripley from Alien for Halloween. I’m reading Pet Semetary by Stephen King. Gonna vote 4 Zohran tomorrow. I’ve been making stickers for my computer/life. Been sleeping with an ikea sheepskin under my back. I HAVE THREE SONGS COMING OUT THIS FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 7TH. I’ve been on my phone constantly looking at photos and videos of myself non stop. It’s fun and cool to have days revolve around photos, edits, music, videos, picture, sound, all that stuff. I’ve gotten better at speaking my mind (I’m just str8 up annoying), and I’ve been trying to be more wary of my “Critic.” Sometimes my critic speaks from a place of being uncomfortable with my face and body, and sometimes it’s cool and talks about color, composition, and iconic-ness-ability. Trying to stay with the latter. Saw a vid of a girl say something like “your pix suck bc you’re choosing the one where u look the smallest and not the one where u look the best.” Cool!
My bf’s therapist (swag) gave a really good breakdown of the creative process. If I remember right..there are 4 roles: The Explorer, The General, The Soldier, and The Critic. The explorer’s job is to go out and collect ideas, look for inspiration, have fun thinking and dreaming. No limits, no rules, just exploring. The General has the plan, the bigger picture and tells the soldier what to do. The Soldier makes. The Soldier doesn’t worry about it being good enough, that’s The Critic’s job.
The most important thing I always have to remind myself of is that The Soldier is NOT The Critic!! The explorer searches and makes connections without critiquing, and the soldier makes without critiquing. It’s hard - but trying to stay in one role at a time is helpful to the mind. My mind. Let’s add another: the friend - the one that is really nice about everything you make, who says you’re doing amazing.
I spent the last two years making (new) music. I think it’s really good. We were gonna put out singles, but then Dean introduced the concept of a “thringle.” My THRINGLE is called “SINGLES” and it is not an EP. This is the future, baby! I feel like Tracy’s wife, Angie, on 30 Rock with her single called, “My Single Is Dropping.”
Ariel said it should be called, “My Three Sons,” which is....really good, and I am trying not to have regrets.
The three songs ARE: Avalanche, Dance With Me, and My Mans. Three beauties. Avalanche is like boom boom, why am i like this, i used to be awesome, weeeeeeeeeee. Dance With Me is like get me out of here, I love you, I’m going without you, I am destructive, lalala. My Mans is like, god damn I have a deep dark problem of needing everyone to like me and think I’m pretty which puts me so in my head and makes me lonely and insane.
November 7th is a good release date. It feels solid. I like that it’s these three songs. It would be cool if it was all of them, but easy does it. Need people to want to listen lol. They will want to listen!!!! Yer.
New York is cold. Leaves are almost all gone off my favorite tree in the yard. I have a cute little rash/dry patch on my face next to my mouth :). I’ve been using only vanicream, which is so boring, but doctor’s orders. I’ve been burning those little “incence of the west” blocks. They smell like fire, and remind me of when my family lived on Dean/3rd ave. Might be time to bring back Smudge by heretic. I’ve been listening to really quiet moody ambient-ish(?) music, like that Joanne Robertson album that absolutely hits every single day. Durutti Column, Joy Division, those Cate Le Bon & Group Listening songs. Stuff likeeee Nivhek (just found), this guy Doug Firebaugh, Grouper, even! Why not! Juliana Barwick with the lights off, two candles lit, yoga mat padded with a blanket and sheepskin, smoke in the air, window cracked the tiniest bit, eyes closed, supported fish with reclined butterfly legs. That’s my shit right there.
Well, wish me and my phone good luck. Big week ahead. I’m gonna stay positive and chill and zen and cozy about putting out new music for the first time in 3 years. I did it for me and you and I think we’re both gonna be happy and healthy and successful.