5:06PM
It’s been too long. It’s not a joke anymore, I need to act right. I owe it to myself and to you, dear reader, to be consistent in sharing myself with you aka the world. Thou who art the world. Yeah.
I started this website as a private little thing for myself, and it turned into something I was asked to post on, which of course made me stop posting on it. I’m working on myself I swayerrrr. I have a huge aversion to self promotion, and a huge disconnect from reality when it comes to acknowledging that there are, in fact, people who like my music, and want to know more about me, see me, etc etc. I think I’ve been operating from a place of like, everybody’s-gonna-think-i’m-full-of-myself-and-that-i-dont-deserve-to-be-full-of-myself-because-i’m-not-beautiful-enough-or-smart-enough, and I might have reached the end of that rope. It’s like...grossest rope in the world. It’s like one of those ropes that you pull up to see if there are any crabs in the crab trap. One that’s green and fuzzy with some unknowable sea-texture. Yeah. So, I think that this ALBUM YES, ALBUM, will call into action a more accepting version of myself. Cuz if not, idk what we gonna do.
I did a tapping exercise in the car w my bf the other day. Alternating left and right hand to tap the hairline, eyebrows, under eyes, top lip, collar bone, and sternum. The exercise has you do one round of tapping at these places while talking about a problem or fear you have with yourself and going into detail about it. And then the second round, you say, like, the reality that relates to those problems. I can’t explain it right, ah! Mine was like, I am so mean to myself about the way that I look, and then it was, I love when I see photos of bigger people, and I would never say the things I say about myself about ANYONE, especially the people I love. You see? It created a new way to understand my inner critic. Anywho. Whoopsy daisy yoo hoo
I’m really excited for you to hear this new album. It’s called Girlfriend, and it’s so special to me, it’s the most proud I’ve ever been of anything I’ve ever made ever. Ever. SERIOUS. I’ll tell you more about the process of it another time, soon. But it’s an 11 track album, dealing with ~~themes~~ offfffff love, addiction (YAWN! jk), hurting the ones I love, being a bad girlfriend, feeling very alone, and trying to feel better! The usual!! But better.....I swear. I think you will love it.
I can’t believe it. Kinda getting emotional thinking about how it’s finally time to share it. I’m not even scared. I’m just crying because I believe in it. And maybe that means I actually DO believe in myself after all. Worddddd. I am proud of myself. And proud of you, as we are one. I want to connect with the feeling of being supported by people more. Sorry I’ve been ignoring you, whoever you are. I just realized I’ve been acting like I’m all alone, but really I’m with you.
Pause.
Wait, come see me on tour so we can say hi to each other. Click this. Yas. OMG the profile picture for my “bands in town” what is happeninngggggg. Okay...... well...
Love you
Putting it in my calender to be BACK HERE next week, so. I WILL be here!!!
ps can you believe that slyvia plath quote under my beautiful album artwork? So good it hurts so bad. Just wanted to share for those who wanna run away!! We see each OTHER. <3 <3 <3 <3