11:44pm
Friday. I was gonna go to a BBQ, cuz for a minute earlier I was feeling like this, but then around 2pm I faded into bleh. Dealing with so much medical stuff. Makes me scared and sad..but also I keep saying “I’m so strong” to myself and I think it’s helping my spirits, but still I feel lame for cancelling on everyone all the time. I just feel like all I can handle in between medical planning and music work is watching movies, reading, collaging, and playing piano. Kid stuff lol.
I’m watching that Netflix show, Adolescence right now...it’s...okay. Needing a new show BAD rn.
I have this show on because I thought it would be mindless and last forever, which is always what I want on when I’m collaging.
I had some post-its I wanted to immortalize via collage.
I’ve been making keychains lately, mostly, but I try to keep a sort of collage-diary in my Traveler’s Journal (iykyk). I want to go to Yoseka tomorrow to re-up on some inserts, and replace my favorite pen that just ran out of ink. It’s so tiny. It’s got nothing on my actual favorite pen, which is my Twisbi Eco with a Stub nib. UGH it’s too good. Effortless calligraphy vibes.
I need some new good collage material. I love the texture of magazine paper, but I only really have old playboys to work from, and they are pretty one note, lol. Good colors in the 80s ads but I wanna EXPAND. Gonna look on ebay..the best search term, I think, is “ephemera.” Reminder to do a round-up of all the scattered scraps of “ephemera” from my own life in my house. I love collaging my random tickets, lists, and receipts into my journal.
OK I’m feeling pretty brain dead. I feel like I’m writing like an 8th grader. I have a memory from 4th grade of trying to remember the word “last,” while writing an essay I had titled, “Yesterday Night.” I feel like that right now. Proabably from all the iron I’m losing as I sit here bleeding bleeding bleeding. Bleh. I added a little collection of cute stuff from zines on the internet archive that I found. And some scans of my journal collaging.
The people in this british show are screaming. Hurts me head. My only goals for tomorrow are to sweat and think positive. OH and do outfit planning for my LA trip (content farming).
Goodnight moon.